Before this post goes anywhere, please note in advance that it is about education. And perhaps most of you are saying, “Well, duh, what else could you possibly be talking about???” For others (me, for example), that might need to be clarified 
The last few weeks for me as a college instructor of both oral and written English have meant final exam administration and grading. The oral exams were mostly tedious – especially sitting immobile in a room for four hours straight with visible clouds of breath coming out the mouths of both examiner and examinee. There were moments of delight when a student came out with a particularly dazzling answer that wasn’t memorized and/or spoken in a monotone, and there were also moments when it was clear no preparation had been done whatsoever. But my goal was to try to get the kids to relax and take a (chilly) breath. I know exactly how nerve-wracking an oral examination in a foreign language can be, and I believe that as an examiner, I have a responsibility both to inspire confidence and to try to take nervousness out of the equation in order to get an accurate measure of ability. That’s hard in China as the students have the added pressure of believing you, as the teacher, will be mad at them if their English isn’t perfect. I try to remind them that I am not Chinese, and their ability won’t influence me personally. I’d rather them be unique, try hard, and make mistakes than deliver a flawless, but feelingless, set of memorized utterances. The point of language is to communicate. That is definitely not how language is seen in the Chinese educational system.
So, then came the written exams. I have two first-year classes. They are forced to write part of a standardized, international English test in order to get their grade for the course. There are a few problems, of course. First, their English level is too low for the course – not enough vocabulary, and poor, poor grammar. Second, they don’t know how to put together a paragraph in a logical fashion or put together support for an idea. And third, the exam they are given isn’t an accurate measure of what is covered in the course. I wasn’t given the questions ahead of time (nor was I told they would write this exam to get their grade), so I couldn’t plan a syllabus that covered what they needed to know. Even if their English were better, they still wouldn’t know how to approach answering some of the questions they were presented with. But this is the Chinese system. No planning, no logic, no meaningful outcome measures.
Needless to say, the written examinations were atrocious. But one plus to what was a painful grading process was a collection of some of the phrases they came up with. And the best one for me was:
We need to work harder and harder for the Black Hole.
The question had been about addressing the challenges people face when they move to a new city or county, and the paragraph this little nugget was found in had to do with the high cost of housing. Most of the essay was incomprehensible, including this statement in relation to what had just been said. But in another sense, it was a deep and meaningful statement capable of describing the economy, their education system, and the daily grind. It was perfect.
Oh man I remember those days. Unable to write scores on the gradesheet cuz my fingers were too frozen , listening to scores of uncreative memorized utterances. I hope it’s over for you and you have a little break!
Oh yeah, I turned in my grades yesterday! Yippeeeeee!
You have a winter break now?
Yep. Sadly, I’m sticking around my campus (which isn’t near anything) until the end of the month to give my bum ankle a fighting chance at max functionality. Then I need to do a visa run to HK. I haven’t planned any further than that – I probably should, as I need to clear my head after the last month or so.
Definitely , first things first. Get that ankle back to max. You don’t have a working visa/residence permit from the school? A trip to HK is always awesome though. If you want to dip out from that school , you can always come to Shanghai. There are plenty of well paying teaching jobs.
The visa thing went like this. I came with a 3-month tourist and went to Haikou where I had planned on staying. Job there went south fast, and I very quickly segued into the Nanjing job with a month left on the visa. They wanted me to do the visa run then and there, but being exhausted and preferring to get used to the job, I asked them to extend me. They got me a business visa good until Feb 5. So now I’m gettin’ the real thing.
Oh yes, it has occurred to me to cut and run since it isn’t the middle of the semester. But I think I have it in my head to at least finish the school year – do the honourable thing… At least I can get a reference out of it… After that, I’ll reevaluate.
What happened with the Haikou job? Luckily for me , it’s possible to convert a business/tourist visa to a working zisa without leaving Shanghai. I would not have been able to afford to plane ride when I did that 2.5 years ago haha. I saw your earlier post about the young guy teachers maybe having to work less than you but still receive the same pay , and the housing issues , bleh! Seems like you’re a trooper. While I don’t love my employers , I stll have a pretty good deal in Shanghai. The biggest issue right now is the m trying to make me dance Gangnam Style (complete with sexy hip swinging moves) at the head of a squad of young female Chinese teachers in front of the entire staff. Being a foreigner in China is already too much of being a dancing monkey. Forget about it. Haha.
The Haikou school was very poorly run. Constant issues, especially hygiene stuff, and then after being told by a teacher who didn’t teach language that I couldn’t use the musical instruments to help 4-year-olds chant/sing something because musical instruments are only for music class (oh, and the school couldn’t get me a work visa), I figured that it was time to move on.
Okay, so you are going to post video footage of this dance, right?
Yikes, yea that does sound awful! Shanghai has quite a few good kindergartens though if you wanted to get back into it. There are some strictly for foreign kids too! Pay at kindergartens start at 14,000 rmb and go up and they will get you a working visa. I’m trying desperately not to do this dance. It’s going as far as lying to the principal and saying my waist hurts and i can’t do the sexy gyrations. I’m seriously so not down for it. Their ideas for fun with the company dinners are so terrible to me!
Let me know if you want to borrow my crutches
Ahahahahaha! I might need to!
Harder and harder for the Black Hole sounds perfectly Orwellian. It sounds like the students are set up for failure. I have a kinda unrelated question, but it’s kinda related too… what is the cost of attendance at a university in China? Is a university at all consumer-orientated? Or does the university run on government money and exist to exist and perpetuate bureaucracy and the jobs that go with bureaucracy?
Would you mind if I answer your questions in a separate post or two? I’m gearing up for a post-secondary exploration
You know, as much as I love that Black Hole sentence written by that student, I still have no idea what he or she truly meant!
1. Write away. I look forward to reading the posts and learning about something I know absolutely nothing about.
2. I would stop looking for meaning as I doubt there is any. The student probably just felt compelled to write until the page was full. It would be like looking for meaning in something I wrote in spanish. Despite being subjected to 16 semester hours of god awful classroom instruction I still can say nothing more than, “Hola. Como esta?” If I were to say or write anymore than that it would be total and complete nonsense. It would be words I stuck a lot of “o”s after!
I think you’re probably right! I think I may start using “Black Hole” as kind of a war cry or something, though. Like, fist to the sky, I encourage my troops at the start of a hike, “Okay, gang, this is one for the Black Hole!” And then we proceed uphill towards some undefined end goal.
I think between your o-infused Spanish and mine, which has, for some reason, become peppered with Chinese words every time I try to say something, we could develop a new language entirely
Let’s be optimistic … maybe the student meant “We need to work harder and harder to get out of the Black Hole that we dug for yourselves”.
I would like to think that that is what it is. It is definitely good to be optimistic
Yes we do, must do, work harder for the Black Hole.
I’m doing the best that I can. I hope it is enough. BH is hungry…
Sounds like Kierkegaard or Nietzsche!
Doesn’t it just? I may have a young philosopher on my hands
This phrase prompted a discussion on the history and meaning of Existensialism and Nihilism with my wife !
Excellent! I love it when something comes out of nothing
Good Villager, you are wonderful. Give that student a Hero of the People’s Republic badge with the bust of Kierkegaard on it.
Haha! Now, where am I going to get that…? Although, as I write this, I realize that if such a thing is (still) made, it is likely made in China.
I will be teaching two more writing classes next semester, so I look forward to more inspiration
Oh god I can’t imagine sitting in a room where you see your breath its so cold and having to listen to excruciatingly bad English recited in a monotone. You deserve a gold star T :0
The black hole phrase reminds me when I was learning French at school I always learned some idioms and made sure I included them in the exam – for example “c’est dommage” (Its too bad) which I still use at my museum cash register all the time.
Interestingly, it was still mostly a good time for me. I do like the kids. Most of them don’t want to study English (even the ones whose major is Business English – but that is a post for another time), and a few quite clearly don’t want to have anything to do with me. But there are also the great moments that make things good. I have a small fraction who are quite delighted to have a foreign teacher. One group of young ladies stuck around after the last one had finished and sang me a Michael Jackson song a cappella. It was sweet. I had one male student come in for his exam and he sat down and told me sincerely that I could ask him any questions I wanted – it didn’t have to be just the exam questions. There wasn’t time for that, but it was a beautiful display of initiative and friendliness.
I love those learned phrases in other languages that stick with us years after learning them
I really do love how you took a seemingly random statement and gave it your twist. Put it right into perspective! Your students are lucky enough to have a teacher who cares, because that makes all the difference
As a child of academicians and having tutored students myself, I really do know how thankless the job can be sometimes. But it is that one moment of brilliance or that one original answer that makes it all worth your while.
Thank you for your lovely comment
I think you’ve hit the nail on the head – and I guess one must apply it to any field of work – you’ve got to be able to find moments or nuggets that make that work mean something. Otherwise, you’ve got a black hole into which your life and efforts disappear